Duct Tape in a Glass Case

As we all know, the world hates America. At this very moment, Saddam Hussein is assembling a massive flock of highly-poisonous, rather-testy carrier pigeons that will lay waste to the great American Suburbia. Well, Bargets loves America, and we will never allow that to happen. As such we are hereby introducing our first retail item. Without further ado, we give you:

DUCT TAPE IN A GLASS CASE ($69.95)

When ordering, enter the Coupon Code "WRulez" and include a picture of yourself in your favorite American flag undergarments for a free Condoleeza Rice Coozie (While Supplies Last).

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Bargets

Bargets is the department store my co-workers and I are going to found when we get fired for sitting around and talking about Bargets instead of punching buttons on our computers. Bargets was originally conceived as a Big Lots/Target hybrid, but as you will discover over the coming weeks it has grown into so much more. We currently offer approximately 15 items and services that are available only through Bargets. Well, actually, they're not available anywhere since we haven't been fired yet, but that should happen any day now so, to build some buzz, I'll be introducing the items one-by-one here on the blog over the coming weeks. Check back soon for the first Bargets Exclusive.